Chocolate Vanilla
by dazai-san
Summary: A series of standalone but interconnected AU one-shots. [Current chapter: "Kakashi, 'I fell down the stairs' never works. Try again." / "But it's true!" (Obito and Kakashi go out for coffee—no, they are not on a date—Rin, shut up.)]
1. Chocolate

**Title:** chocolate ice cream

 **Summary:** Obito looks up as an ice cream cone is shoved in his face, arching an eyebrow at the silver haired stranger. "Here. It looks like you need it." [au]

.

Obito has never gotten along with his parents, or the rest of the Uchiha family and its ridiculous obsession with inbreeding.

He doesn't _hate_ his parents, and they don't hate him, but they just… don't work out so well. His mother keeps trying to hook him up with a girl (his seventeenth cousin or something—yes, the Uchiha clan is _that_ big) and Obito keeps declining.

And not because of Rin, either; of course not. He got over his crush on her a while back, and while they're still close, they're more like siblings. It's just he's never been fond of incest.

His favorite cousins, Itachi and Sasuke, understand. When they first met, Itachi had remarked, "You don't act like an Uchiha." And while that was hardly the first time someone had told him that, Itachi had been the first not to say it in a disdainful manner.

"Yeah," Obito had agreed. "I wasn't born with a stick up my ass."

Itachi, instead of being offended, had actually cracked a tiny smile. That had been the beginning of a beautiful friendship between two cousins.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had simply raised an eyebrow, glanced at the surrounding Uchiha, and had said firmly, "I like you better than the rest of the clan—except Itachi-nii, of course."

Naturally, Obito had taken a liking to the (then five year old) kid immediately.

Now, the seventeen year old finds himself sulking on a park bench about a block away from his home, glaring at the ants passing by his feet on the cement sidewalk. He can hear kids laughing and horsing around on the playground, but pays them no heed.

Footsteps approach, but Obito ignores them until they stop beside him.

Obito looks up as an ice cream cone, chocolate, is shoved in his face, arching an eyebrow at the silver haired stranger. "Here. It looks like you need it."

"Are you in the habit of buying food for strangers because 'it looks like they need it'?" Obito asks, but he takes it anyways.

"At least I didn't poison it," the stranger retorts, talking a seat next to him. He's wearing a dark blue scarf (in the _summer_ , sheesh) that covers the lower half of his face, a headband across one of his eyes, and he looks about a year or two younger than Obito.

"I can't be sure of that," says Obito, yet he can't bring himself to care and settles for eating his ice cream, sliding the silver haired stranger a glance as he scoops up some ice cream (vanilla) out of a cup instead of a cone. (Weirdo.)

The stranger gives him an amused hum, clearly noticing the look Obito gives him. "I'm Kakashi Hatake," he states out of the blue. The name sounds mildly familiar and at the same time, ridiculous. (Scarecrow in the field? Really?)

Unsurprised at all by the random comment, (since Kakashi seems to be a weird guy), Obito replies, "I'm Obito Uchiha."

"Uchiha? Explains why you look kind of familiar."

"I know right?" Obito snorts. "Due to the ridiculous amount of inbreeding in my clan, we all look the same."

"Ah. Is that your problem? Being married off?"

"How did you know?" Obito asks, mildly surprised.

"I put two and two together. I got four. It's not all that hard. Oh, and Itachi Uchiha's my kohai. He mentioned something the other day about something happening in the clan; about somebody who refused to marry or something and stormed out the next moment."

Kakashi's name clicks in Obito's mind. Several times, Itachi had mentioned a "Kakashi-senpai" at his school. "Itachi's my cousin! Has he mentioned me at all?"

Kakashi coughs and suddenly his voice becomes a ridiculously close imitation of Itachi's. "'Oh, this? I got it from Obito.' 'Obito's going away for a week…' 'Sasuke was keeping me up all night saying he missed Obito.' 'Are you a genius? You're even smarter than Obito.' He brings you into every single one of our conversations."

Obito feels a twinge of affection for his cousin. "He's still a cute kid, though."

"That, he is," Kakashi agrees. "It's pretty damn tough, being in junior year about four years too early. I'm also acquainted with his little brother Sasuke; instead of _you_ , he talks about _Itachi_. Every. Single. Damn. Minute."

Obito snickers into his hand while Kakashi buries his face in his hands briefly, looking very pained. "Oh, and I'm just curious, why does Itachi call you senpai, anyways? You're in his grade or lower, aren't you?"

Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, Kakashi looks away with an embarrassed huff. "Maa, you see, I'm actually already out of college. Sometimes I swing by some school to help, and I met Itachi at his school."

Obito chokes on his ice cream, leaning forward a little in surprise and ending up with ice cream on his face. Kakashi looks sheepishly at him and hands him a napkin, patting his back. "Sorry."

Once he wipes the ice cream off his face, Obito waves it off; _college? That's pretty freaking amazing._ "Nah, it's fine. You didn't mean it. That's cool. Say, do you live around here or something? I haven't seen you around, even though you say you go to the Konoha High School often."

"Yeah, I do." Kakashi points in a vague direction lazily with his plastic spoon. "Live in that direction over there with my dogs. And maybe it's just because I usually work with the people my age or younger."

"Dogs?" Obito inquires, immediately curious. "How many?"

"Eight."

" _Eight—_ man, you are _so_ damn lucky. I love animals, but my parents are completely against having animals in the house."

"That must suck." Kakashi laughs slightly. It's a nice sound. "But I've grown up with dogs, and because of that, Itachi says I'm more dog than human. Besides, they're good company, especially if you live alone."

 _He lives alone?_ Obito wonders privately, but doesn't comment on it, nibbling on the edge of his cone. "I wish I could move out, but it's like it's against the law for an Uchiha to move out of the compound unless for a job or something. Sheesh."

"How so?" Kakashi tilts his head slightly, raising his only visible eyebrow. "I mean, it can't be _that_ hard to find a cheap apartment and move in, right?"

"That's what they'd like for you to think," Obito mutters mutinously. "The entire clan, sans Itachi, Sasuke, and a few others, will _flip their shit_. Trust me, I'd rather live with my parents for the rest of my life than deal with the entire Uchiha clan's melodrama. _Especially_ Fugaku-dono."

Kakashi winces around the spoon in his mouth. "Ouch."

"I know, right," Obito sighs. "Imagine Sasuke throwing a titty-fitty. Then multiply that by about a thousand times, and you've got Fugaku-dono throwing a mini fit."

"…how, exactly, do you know this?"

Obito closes his eyes and runs a hand through his messy black hair. "…I may or may not have said I wanted to move out that one time."

Kakashi offers a small noise at the back of his throat. "…ah. That must have… sucked."

"Doesn't help at all that the _entire_ freaking Uchiha clan hates me because I don't act like one of them."

"If it's any consolation, I've been there too."

"You know, I'm _reaaaally_ tempted to make a _Big Bang Theory_ reference and ask you exactly how that's consolation, but I think I'll refrain," Obito coughs while internally pondering what, exactly, Kakashi means by that.

"Big Bang Theory?" Kakashi asks, sounding bemused. "You mean the theory about how the universe was created?"

"No, I mean the TV sitcom."

"There's a sitcom called _Big Bang Theory_?"

"How did you _not_ know that?" Obito demands. "You living under a rock your entire life? A dog shaped rock?"

Kakashi laughs sheepishly, rubbing his neck. (Absentmindedly Obito notes that Kakashi seems to do that when he's nervous or embarrassed.) "I don't own a television. I'm not into movies or the such, either. I really only use my computer for some work and stuff. Most of the money I have is spent on paying rent, food, and on my dogs."

Before Obito can reply, a phone goes off with the tune of some classical song, and Obito jumps as Kakashi casually receives the call, setting the phone on his ear and turning in the opposite direction. (Huh. Classical music?)

"Hello?"

The person on the opposite line says something that Obito can't pick up, and Obito coughs quietly, turning away to give Kakashi some privacy despite his curiosity.

"Oh. Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes." _Beep._

Kakashi turns back to Obito. "Sorry, Obito-san. I have to go. I have a job to do."

It's only now, when Obito hears Kakashi refer to him with an honorific (Obito-san just sounds plain _weird_ ), that he realizes that Kakashi hasn't used his name even once until now, and that he's the same. "Just 'Obito'. And, uh, do you want to meet up again some time? I know a nice coffee shop."

"Are you asking me out, Obito-sa—Obito?" Kakashi inquires with an amused smirk as Obito chokes on what's left of his ice cream cone. "I'm kidding, Obito. That'd be nice."

Kakashi digs around in his pockets and procures a pen and post-its and scrawls something on one before handing it to Obito, which he takes. Pulling off the top post-it and keeping it, he writes his own phone number and returns the pen and paper to Kakashi.

"Well," Kakashi says awkwardly, fidgeting slightly after pocketing the paper and pen. "See you?"

"Yeah," Obito replies, equally as awkwardly. "Well, have fun. See you, Kakashi."

As the other heads off, disappearing around the corner and tossing his empty cup of ice cream away, Obito smiles faintly. _Weird guy… but I like him._

.

 **a/n:** awkward as fuck ending hooray.

I'll probably write a sequel to this from Kakashi's POV just because I can and I understand that there're loads of unexplained things in this fic.

Oh and btw I didn't even bother proofreading this thing. Feel free to point out anything you dislike and any errors you found…

Reviews are loved.


	2. Vanilla

**Title:** vanilla

 **Summary:** A series of one-shots taking place in a single alternate universe. [Current chapter: Kakashi buys ice cream for Obito, and it is beyond awkward.]

 **Genres:** Humor/Friendship

 **Pairings:** pre-slash [Kakashi, Obito]

 **Notes:** Whelp went over this thing and fixed a few things… I didn't proofread after posting rip.

.

Kakashi doesn't have very many friends. What few friends he _does_ have… are strange, to put it lightly. And bossy. _Especially_ a certain brunette.

He really isn't certain _why_ he's friends with her anyways, and why he's out here, wasting his Saturday afternoon hanging out with said brunette.

"You and Obito-kun _really_ need to meet," says Rin as she drinks out of her glass with one of those really bendy straws.

"Busy, Rin, I'm _busy_ ," Kakashi retorts, stirring his cup of coffee with a metal spoon absentmindedly. "Socializing is one of the last things I have the freedom of doing. And I don't even want to, either."

Rin frowns. "You recluse. Itachi-kun is _wrong_ about you being more dog than human. You're more a hermit crab."

Kakashi allows himself to roll his eye, not at all bothered. "I think it'd be better if I was," he comments dryly. "Then I'd be unnoticed." _Freaking fangirls._

Clearly hearing his unspoken comment, Rin smiles at him, quite amused. "With all the attention you get from people of the opposite gender and the way you seem to ignore them, I'm beginning to think you're into guys."

"I may as well be," responds Kakashi mildly, taking a sip of his coffee, relishing in its bitter flavor. "But that'd give… _certain parts_ … of my quote/unquote 'fan-base' more ammunition." He grimaces, and not from his coffee.

Rin hums thoughtfully. "Maybe I should consider setting you up with guys instead of girls, then."

"Oh hell no," hisses Kakashi, setting down his cup with a clink. "I'm _sick_ of being set up. Last date you set me up with _Kurenai_ even though it's _so goddamn obvious_ she has the hots for Asuma."

"Oh, that?" Rin waves it aside dismissively. "She wanted to make Asuma jealous is all."

"Yes, I came to that conclusion, but honestly, you couldn't have told me that?"

"You're smart, Kakashi-kun," sighs Rin. "You came to the conclusion yourself, didn't you? So suck it up and quit whining."

"I will not _'suck it up and quit whining'_ until _you_ quit setting me up. Bachelor for life."

Rin smirks, propping her cheek on her hand as she stirs her smoothie with the bendy straw. "Well, we can see about that, hmm, Kakashi-kun?"

Kakashi _knows_ that look, and frankly, it terrifies him. Last time she'd had that glint in her eyes, she'd gotten Naruto "I'm the loudest idiot in the city" Uzumaki and Sasuke "I hate idiots" Uchiha to shut up and get along nicely.

"Rin, no."

She snickers, waving her free hand. "You mean, _Rin, yes_. You need a social life. Correction. You need a life."

"That makes me feel so good about myself," he deadpans.

Rin pats him on the arm in a purposefully patronizing manner; the appendage twitches. "Always here when you need it, Kashi-kun. My services are free."

"Please don't call me that."

"Whatever you say, Kashi-kun."

"Two can play at that game, Rin-Rin."

Suddenly, like a godsend, Rin's phone rings, and she picks it up. "Hello? Rin Nohara speaking… Oh, is that so? I'll be right there." _Beep_.

"The daycare called," Rin explains, standing up and slipping her phone back into her bag, which she slings over her shoulder. "Sasuke-chan and Naruto-chan are arguing again, but it seems they're a little more destructive this time."

"Are you their last line of defense or something?" Kakashi asks, raising his eyebrow as he, too, stands up and sets the money on the table.

"I suppose. See you, Kashi- _chan_!" Before Kakashi can retort, she's already out the door.

 _Women…_

.

As per usual, the park is crowded with children and their parents alike.

Looking around with a hum, Kakashi spots a messy haired teenager, a year or two older than him. The hair color is the same as Itachi's, but it's the sour look on his face that gives him away—only an Uchiha could make a face as sour as that.

But he looks more than mildly familiar—he's seen his face on multiple occasions, and when he thinks back to Rin, it hits him.

… _Obito Uchiha?_

It's kind of hard to relate this sour faced teenager to the happy-go-lucky and childish person that Rin, her pictures, and oh god, _Itachi,_ describe Obito as.

Kakashi spots the ice cream stand not too far away, looks back at Obito, and steels his nerves while sighing deeply. _I can't believe I am actually doing this. Socializing, I mean._

He gets in line and orders a vanilla ice cream in a cup and a chocolate in a cone before heading over to Obito.

"…Here. It looks like you need it," says Kakashi in a tone that conveys the opposite of what he's currently feeling as he hands the cone to the Uchiha.

Obito raises an eyebrow at him. "Are you in the habit of buying food for strangers because 'it looks like they need it'?" Nonetheless, he accepts the ice cream as Kakashi takes a seat beside him.

"At least I didn't poison it," _dumbass_ , he adds silently as he covertly watches Obito giving him a once over.

"I can't be sure of that," Obito replies, but he doesn't seem to care.

Kakashi spoons ice cream out of his own, eating it absentmindedly as Obito gives him an incredulous look. ( _What is up with these people and their cones?_ ) He hums a little, amused.

"I'm Kakashi Hatake." He winces a little internally at exactly how awkward it sounds; he really isn't good at this socializing thing.

But Obito seems to understand that, at least a little, and simply responds with, "I'm Obito Uchiha."

"Uchiha? Explains why you look kind of familiar," Kakashi offers.

"I know right?" Obito snorts, clearly irritated. "Due to the ridiculous amount of inbreeding in my clan, we all look the same."

"Ah. Is that your problem? Being married off?"

"How did you know?" Obito asks, sounding mildly surprised.

"I put two and two together. I got four. It's not all that hard. Oh, and Itachi Uchiha's my kohai. He mentioned something the other day about something happening in the clan; about somebody who refused to marry or something and stormed out the next moment."

Immediately, Obito perks up. "Itachi's my cousin! Has he mentioned me at all?"

Kakashi coughs and begins speaking in his best imitation of Itachi's prepubescent voice. "'Oh, this? I got it from Obito.' 'Obito's going away for a week…' 'Sasuke was keeping me up all night saying he missed Obito.' 'Are you a genius? You're even smarter than Obito.' He brings you into every single one of our conversations."

"He's still a cute kid, though."

"That, he is," Kakashi agrees, because it's true. "It's pretty damn tough, being in junior year about four years too early. I'm also acquainted with his little brother Sasuke; instead of _you_ , he talks about _Itachi_. Every. Single. Damn. Minute." Briefly, Kakashi buries his face in his hands with a deep sigh.

"Oh, and I'm just curious, why does Itachi call you senpai, anyways? You're in his grade or lower, aren't you?" Obito inquires.

Kakashi makes a mildly embarrassed noise; it _is_ true, though. "Maa, you see, I'm actually already out of college. Sometimes I swing by some school to help, and I met Itachi at his school." _And the elementary students. Especially the second graders. Oh, the second graders…_

Obito chokes audibly and leans forward a little, ending up with ice cream on his face. Sheepishly, Kakashi wonders if he's allowed to laugh as he pats Obito's back and hands him a napkin. "Sorry…"

He accepts the napkin and scrubs at his cheek furiously. "Nah, it's fine. You didn't mean it. That's cool. Say, do you live around here or something? I haven't seen you around, even though you say you go to the Konoha High School often."

"Yeah, I do." Kakashi points in the general direction of his house with his plastic spoon. "Live in that direction over there with my dogs. And maybe it's just because I usually work with the people my age or younger."

"Dogs?" Obito inquires eagerly, eyes brightening. "How many?"

"Eight."

" _Eight—_ man, you are _so_ damn lucky. I love animals, but my parents are completely against having animals in the house."

"That must suck." _I couldn't live without my dogs, even if Pakkun is a brat._ "But I've grown up with dogs, and because of that, Itachi says I'm more dog than human. Besides, they're good company, especially if you live alone." _Although Rin says I'm more_ hermit crab _._

Obito bites his cone thoughtfully. "I wish I could move out, but it's like it's against the law for an Uchiha to move out of the compound unless for a job or something. Sheesh."

"How so?" Kakashi raises his eyebrow, a little confused. "I mean, it can't be _that_ hard to find a cheap apartment and move in, right?"

"That's what they'd like for you to think," Obito mutters darkly. "The entire clan, sans Itachi, Sasuke, and a few others, will _flip their shit_. Trust me, I'd rather live with my parents for the rest of my life than deal with the entire Uchiha clan's melodrama. _Especially_ Fugaku-dono."

"Ouch." Kakashi is torn between laughing and wincing, and settles on the latter.

"I know, right," Obito sighs, propping his head on his fist. "Imagine Sasuke throwing a titty-fitty. Then multiply that by about a thousand times, and you've got Fugaku-dono throwing a mini fit."

"…how, exactly, do you know this?" _Ohh that must've_ sucked _._

Obito closes his eyes as though he _really_ doesn't want to remember and runs a hand through messy black hair. "…I may or may not have said I wanted to move out that one time."

 _Stupid move, there._ Kakashi tries his best not to imagine that. "…ah. That must have… sucked."

"Doesn't help at all that the _entire_ freaking Uchiha clan hates me because I don't act like one of them," Obito adds mutinously.

"If it's any consolation, I've been there too," Kakashi offers, not entirely certain how he should go about doing this. He's almost as bad off as that boy in Naruto's second grade class—Sai. _Almost_. At least he doesn't refer to a book for his social encounters.

"You know, I'm _reaaaally_ tempted to make a _Big Bang Theory_ reference and ask you exactly how that's consolation, but I think I'll refrain."

"Big Bang Theory?" Kakashi inquires, completely befuddled. _What?_ "You mean the theory about how the universe was created?"

"No, I mean the TV sitcom."

"There's a sitcom called _Big Bang Theory_?"

"How did you _not_ know that?" Obito demands, looking scandalized. "You living under a rock your entire life? A dog shaped rock?"

Kakashi flushes, though his scarf hides most of it, thankfully. "I don't own a television. I'm not into movies or the such, either. I really only use my computer for some work and stuff. Most of the money I have is spent on paying rent, food, and on my dogs."

Thankfully, his cell phone rings, playing the familiar tune of Canon in D. _Saved by the phone, again…_

Spotting the caller ID, Kakashi purses his lips and picks up. "Hello?"

"Kakashi! I have a _lovely_ new mission for you," purrs the woman on the opposite line and that causes a chill to run down his spine. "You know where to go, right?"

Tsunade _really_ is terrifying. Especially with that tone of voice. _I bet she's going to have me chase that demon cat Tora around again…_

He sighs. "Oh. Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes." _Fucking slave driver._ Then he hangs up with a beep and slides his phone away.

Kakashi turns back to his companion. "Sorry, Obito-san. I have to go. I have a… job to do."

"Just 'Obito'," the other says hastily. "And, uh, do you want to meet up again some time? I know a nice coffee shop."

Kakashi balks. _Wait, what?_

"Are you asking me out, Obito-sa—Obito?" Kakashi inquires, outwardly amused, but mainly to cover up his embarrassment and internal panic. Upon seeing the look on Obito's face, Kakashi's fears are alieved and he smiles. "I'm kidding, Obito. That'd be nice."

He pulls out a stack of post-its and a pen, scratching out his phone-number and handing it to Obito, who in turn writes his own after pulling the top sheet off.

"Well," Kakashi coughs awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other. "See you?"

"Yeah," Obito replies, sounding as awkward as Kakashi is feeling. "Well, have fun. See you, Kakashi."

 _Fat chance of that…_

But Kakashi nods anyway, heading off and tossing his now empty cup of ice cream into a trash can.

 _Huh. That was strangely… entertaining._

But he'll never say that, because Rin will never ever let it go.

.

 **a/n:** Whoop I'm done.

Since I can, I'm turning this into a series of one-shots because one, I can, and two, I _like_ this universe I've created.

Deal with it.

I really appreciate all the feedback/reviews I received last chapter; I'm a little surprised so many people are interested. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and please leave a review?

 _They are the food of gods and goddesses. Screw nectar and ambrosia._

[P.S. I really need a better name for this fic. RIP.]


	3. Coffee and Scratches

**Chapter Title:** Coffee and Dates

 **Chapter Summary:** "Kakashi, 'I fell down the stairs' never works. Try again." / "But it's _true_!" (Obito and Kakashi go out for coffee—no, they are _not_ on a date—Rin, _shut up_.)

 **Genres:** Humor/Friendship

 **Pairings:** pre-slash, Kakashi and Obito

 **Notes:** I should really be editing _Oil, Water, and Blood_ but I'm lazy and unmotivated.

.

"What the hell _happened_ to you?" is the first thing Obito exclaims when he sees Kakashi the second time ever, which happens to be three days later and in the same park as they met.

Kakashi, looking disgruntled, has his left arm in a cast, various scratches, and a bandage around his head. "I fell down the stairs," he grumbles.

"Kakashi, 'I fell down the stairs' never works. Try again."

"But it's _true!_ " Kakashi protests.

"Explain the scratches then."

Kakashi grimaces and adjusts the scarf around his neck. "You know the demon cat?"

"You mean Tora?" Obito asks, a little bemused. "What has _she_ got anything to do with this?"

"I was hired to go chase her. And that stupid thing—she tripped me down the stairs. Thus I broke my arm and got a mild concussion."

"…Oh. _Ouch_. Ouch so much. She gave you those scratches?"

"Yes. I am once again reminded of why I love dogs so much."

"I hope you got a _lot_ of money for that hell."

Kakashi's expression tells him that he _didn't_ get close to enough money for chasing that hellcat. "Well. What coffee shop were you talking about anyways?" he asks abruptly.

Seeing that the matter is closed, Obito goes along with it. "Alright! It's really close by; if you don't mind walking a little longer…"

.

Kakashi makes a noise at the back of his throat. "I've been here before. They make nice coffee."

Obito grins. "I know, right! I don't come here often, but when I do, I never regret it." He drags his companion over to the nearest table, feeling Kakashi's arm jerk violently and he stops. "Wait, did I—"

"No, I'm fine," Kakashi replies, almost automatically, but Obito doesn't miss the way he pulls his arm away hastily, yet he makes no comment on it.

"Well…" Obito assesses his acquaintance (not quite _friend_ yet) carefully, and for the most part, doesn't seem to be lying about that, though he seems mildly uncomfortable. "If you say so," he decides, and takes a seat.

While Obito might not be the brightest crayon in the drawer (that _is_ the saying, right?) he's not _stupid_ , and he's rather perceptive, if he says so himself. At least in social situations. Otherwise he will gladly admit that he's kind of blockheaded.

"Sorry, I don't really like physical contact," Kakashi explains awkwardly as he does the same. "So…"

 _Oh. So that's it_. "Oh it's not a problem," says Obito. "People have their fears and dislikes." He says nothing more on the matter, picking up a menu and looking through.

Kakashi seems to appreciate it, in the way he relaxes ever so slightly and cautiously opens the menu with his available hand. Before he can read much, a burst of Chopin's Waltz in A Minor interrupts him, and curiously, what Obito can see of his face goes pale as he picks up.

"Hey… _What?…_ I'm here already!… Do you have to?… Fine. See you." _Beep_.

"Who was it?"

"My friend… she is… _eccentric_."

A sly smile finds its way onto Obito's face as he leans in. "Oh? A girlfriend?"

Instead of the embarrassed sputtering he'd expected, Kakashi looks positively horrified. " _NO._ Never. Me and— _no_."

A little disappointed, Obito leans back. "Oh. What does she want?"

"She wanted to tell me that she was coming here, and that I should meet her here."

Obito's face brightens. "Oh! I'd like to meet her."

"I think you already know her," Kakashi tells him wryly as a waiter comes over and takes their orders.

Curious, Obito waits for the waiter to leave their table before asking, "Who?"

"Does the name Rin ring any bells?" Kakashi inquires.

Obito nearly falls out of his chair. " _What?_ And that was a _horrible_ pun, by the way."

"She probably hasn't mentioned you because I forbid her from ever talking about me to her friends again after that last incident involving paintballs. And shut up, that pun was brilliant."

Obito twitches, righting himself in his seat again. _Paintballs…? Never mind, I really don't wanna know…_ "That pun sucked, Kakashi."

"Did _not_."

"Oh, it totally _did_."

"It was _awesome_ and you know it."

"Was not."

"Was."

"It _sucked_." Distantly, Obito is aware that he and Kakashi probably sound like five year olds bickering, but really can't bring himself to care.

"Kakashi, are you _socializing?_ Now I've seen it all…"

Jumping, Obito turns towards the source of the voice at the same time Kakashi grumbles, "Nobody cares, Rin."

Rin grins, sliding in next to Obito. "Looks like you two met. How did you meet, anyways?"

"At the park," Kakashi mutters. "And yes, Rin, I really fell down the stairs."

Rolling her eyes, Rin waves the waiter back over, placing a quick order before shooing him away with a grin.

"Seriously? There's _got_ to be more to that story."

"He got me ice cream," Obito supplies helpfully, smirking at Kakashi's baleful glare. "Said it looked like I needed it or something."

"What? Rin says you're the most cheerful thing since the sun, and you had an Uchiha face."

"Kakashi, I _am_ an Uchiha. I can't not have an Uchiha face."

Kakashi rolls his eye. "My point still stands. Only an Uchiha could pull off a sour face and make it look natural."

"And you," Rin adds cheerfully, much to Kakashi's clear displeasure.

"At least I'm not prone to melodrama. No offense to you, Obito."

"None taken," Obito replies, propping his face on his arm. "I agree to some extent. Shisui and Itachi are like the only exceptions. Madara… _sama_ … and Fugaku-dono take it to _extremes_." He grimaces at the use of the honorific for his uncle.

"Sasuke's a handful," Kakashi adds with a scowl of his own. " _Itachi_ this _, Itachi_ that _, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi_!"

" _Kakashi!_ " Rin admonishes with an exasperated sigh yet she smiles slightly. "He's not that bad!"

"You're right," Kakashi agrees. "He's _worse_."

Obito snickers, finding no reason to defend his little cousin's honor. It's true, as well, not to mention he'll _never_ forgive the little shit for that conversation last Christmas.

("Shisui's my favorite cousin!" Sasuke squeaked.

"I thought _I_ was your favorite…?" Obito muttered, but Sasuke still heard him and turned to him with a scowl.

"Hah? I only said that to piss off Daddy.")

Rin whacks Obito over the head with her hand for laughing, but it's gentle. "He's your _cousin_."

"Yeah, and he's also a little shit."

The waiter drops by, handing them their orders before leaving quietly.

Rin grins cattily as Kakashi and Obito both take a sip of their coffee, and Obito feels a twinge of unease as she opens her mouth. "You know, I feel kind of bad for interrupting your date…"

Obito spits his coffee onto the table while poor Kakashi chokes, wheezing for air.

"You didn't just say that," Obito tells her flatly, wiping his mouth while Kakashi coughs into a fist painfully.

Rin snickers into her hand while Kakashi recovers rather quickly, grimacing. "Rin, I could've choked to death."

"My bad," says Rin sarcastically. "It's not like it was hot."

"I should've spat my coffee on you," Obito informs her.

Rin laughs openly. "Sure. You'll regret that for a lifetime."

Obito rolls his eyes. "Jesus, you have _problems_. I can't believe I used to have a crush on you."

"Mmm," Rin agrees. "I can't believe I used to have a crush on _Kakashi_."

Kakashi makes an uncomfortable noise as he drinks his coffee.

"If that pattern were to continue, then shouldn't Kakashi have the hots for you?" points Rin out slyly, timing it perfectly so Kakashi chokes again while Obito, who hasn't touched his coffee again, whips his head around to glare at her.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Kakashi wheezes.

Rin smiles innocuously at him.

"You're _still_ hung up about the black hair thing?" Kakashi says incredulously.

"Oh, so _that's_ why you had black hair for a month," Obito comments unnecessarily.

"Bachelor for life, hmm?" hums Rin, a terrifying glint in her eye that makes Obito scoot away from her involuntarily. "I'll see about that…"

She smirks, standing up and pushing her seat in before heading towards the counter for her to-go drink. "I'll leave you two to your date, alright? See you around, Kashi- _chan_ , Obito-kun!" she calls loudly before escaping through the door.

"We are _not_ on a date," Obito mutter mutinously as Kakashi nods viciously.

.

 **a/n:** I'm not sure about Tora's gender, and I'm too lazy to check.

The "does the name Rin ring any bells" comment is a pun because "Rin" can mean "bells" in Japanese. But Rin's name is written in katakana rather than a specific kanji or hiragana so there's no definite meaning, I don't think.

About Kakashi disliking physical contact, I always thought Kakashi was a private person and haphephobia is a reasonable phobia for him to have. I also dislike being touched in any way that can be considered intimate, but it's mild and generally geared towards people of the opposite gender, but also applies to certain other things/people.

Classical music is great. You can't go wrong with that.

.

 _ **Obito and Kakashi are dorks.**_

While writing this, I was listening to Florence and the Machine hehe.

I fixed the previous chapter by the way. I didn't proofread it before posting haha.

Reviews are amazing and always appreciated.


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